Oh those Valentines!

       Last week, I went to the zoo with some friends and all together, we had eleven children 4-years-old or under.  By the end of the day, in some way or another, every one of us had a chance to vent some in-the-moment kid frustration.  One mom was discouraged because her new baby isn't sleeping well, another because her daughter gets so whiny when she can't do something perfect the first try, another because her almost two-year-old won't sit still and is always climbing, and then there's mine who visited the bathroom a half dozen times (but I will say without any accidents, thank you very much.)  But it's funny - there's always something.  Each kid has their own quirks, we parents just want to be assured by friends that the quirkiness is completely Normal.  If not, that envy can rear its ugly head.
 
       You can be in envy of a friend whose child goes to sleep with merely a kiss goodnight and lights out while you rub backs and sing songs till their eyes are fluttering (that's me) but that parent you envy has to deal with other issues. Maybe they envy that your kid doesn't have to be prodded to do homework, or that your kid loves roller coasters, or that your kid will eat broccoli.  There's always something.

       Or at least you tell yourself that.  Or I told myself that tonight as I sat with Lanie as she wrote her name sixteen times on her Valentine cards.  I wouldn't call it torture, but it wasn't exactly a party.  We started the process last week and got as far as writing her name twice, before she completely gave up.  She's  not sure if she should write E-L-A-I-N-E (like she learned last year) or L-A-N-I-E which is easier than L-a-n-i-e which her teacher instructs her to write.  She's bewildered, and to top it off won't listen to me when I tell her how to hold a pencil.  Stubborn, spirited girl.  And she finds a million things to do instead of writing - petting the cat, putting the slinky down the stairs, picking up her pen she dropped again.

       But tonight I was prepared - I had bribes up my sleeve.  Write two valentine's and get a bowl of strawberries, two more and some juice, three more and an Oreo, and you get the picture.  And you know what?  It worked.  She finished her Dress-Up Paper Doll Valentines, even adding some sparkle stickers.  She was so proud of herself.  She asked me if other kids were writing their Valentine's tonight.  I told her that, Yes, there probably was a girl or boy somewhere who was also signing her or his name to a classroom full of Valentines.  And maybe that parent knows how I feel and struggled with patience tonight like I did, or maybe they watched their preschooler zip through their stack of Angry Bird or Tinkerbell cards without a single moment of distraction.   Whichever kid you have or had if you're past all that name-writing business, I'm labeling both as Normal.  And we'll make a deal.  I won't envy your conscientious student if you don't envy my spirited one. Because there's always something.