Charlotte - dead; Racer the fish - you guessed it . . .

If I'd taken a picture of Racer, Elijah's red glow fish he'd gotten for his 7th birthday, I'd post it here. But, I never thought that picture would be necessary. Of course now, that the fish has breathed his last, I wish I had. It is as of right now, sitting in kleenex inside a soap box. Elijah wrote on it: "Raser" "He is Dead". I think he's been to a lot of Lutheran church services - "He is Risen indeed, Alleluia!"
It was a sad moment or two or three. Elijah cried, his little sister who can't stand to see anyone upset, cried. He thought it was all his fault because he said he didn't always remember to feed him. He broke into nostalgia about how he loved to sit and watch the fish (it lit up in a blue light) and his friend, the yellow glow fish named "Chaser" swim around. It was terribly upsetting for him but as soon as he took a breath, he asked if we could go to Petsmart today to get a new one. So much for cherishing the life.
I think what impacted this little moment with my son, was just a few minutes before I got the shout out that the fish wasn't moving, we finished Charlotte's Web during out nighttime reading. I broke up when Charlotte died. If you haven't read it lately, see if you can get through this line: "Nobody, of the hundreds of people that had visited the Fair, knew that a grey spider had played the most important part of all. No one was with her when she died." Ugh - right to the heart. And Elijah kept asking, "are you crying, mom? Are you crying?" So, death was on his mind and he was given a great example as how to react to one.

Charlotte's Web is such a great story - and I'm so glad I have kids that give me an excuse to reread some great old novels that I haven't read in years, even if I do end up sucking down tears at the loss of a spider, or a fish.

M - i - crooked letter, crooked letter, i . . ..

This is a pic that depicts our nighttime routine - each kid's face depicts their character and Kenny in the middle of it all - I love it.

I was reading my kids the children's book, If You're So Smart, Why Can't You Spell Mississippi the other night. I never know what books we'll bring home from the library. We rush in - all 4 of us - everyone grabs 5-10 books each, I take Lanie to the bathroom at least 3 times, and Lydia plays with some of the toys until I finally heave the books onto my shoulder and make it to the check-out desk. We get home with our hoard, and at night divide up Lanie's books and put them in her room and then, the moment I relish. I LOVE to lay all the new books out, ones I didn't even know got put in the bag, and have them each choose 1 or 2 to read. It seems the older they get, the longer the stories are, the longer bedtime is drawn out - but that's another story.

So, I grab this one and read it and it's about a girl who can't believe her very smart dad can't spell Mississippi. Come to find out, it's a book about dyslexia. This brought on all kinds of questions. "Do you have dyslexia, mom?" "Do I?" "I have 170 AR points mom, I'm a good reader." "I can spell Mississippi without looking" This of course, let me to tell them the "cool" way to spell it - but then, "what's a crooked letter?" "Why is it a humpback?"

The girl in the story goes to the library (love the plug!) and talks to her dear librarian about finding a book about famous people who had dyslexia. As she goes through the very long list, she comes up one this quote from William James . . .

"Do every day or two something for no other reason that its difficulty."

I love it. I had to think about the quote for a while. I took the book to my desk and laid it there so I could. I don't have any experience with dyslexia, except for teaching a few kids who had dealt with it. I wondered - How often do I fail at doing things for their difficulty? How easy to become lazy and do just enough of what you know. But then, Elijah called me name in that "mommmmmeeeee" voice "I caaaannnnn'tttt ssslllleeeeeepppp" and I trudged myself back in the room ready to be bombarded with his a million questions a night. And while I'm not scaling walls, building bridges, or even attempting the difficult level of Suduko, being a parent provides all kinds of "difficult" choices, just because they know doing the difficult thing (for me, stopping my homework in the midst of a lesson, answering my son's questions without being angry, rubbing his back while balancing on the edge of the bunkbed, and singing a sweet song) is a blessing.

"Never hurry, never worry" - Charlotte

I have been reading Charlotte's Web to Elijah and Lydia at night. Lydia is listening, but gets bored a little. Elijah is listening, and waiting for a black and white picture to appear. Lydia stops me and asks me to define every other word. Elijah stops me to ask if Wilbur will die? Will Charlotte die? and then peaks in the back of the book before I can swipe it away from him.
I love the story - it's so smart and I've totally forgotten all about it until a friend of mine mentioned she and her children were reading it. The chapter we read tonight has my favorite quote in it. Charlotte told Wilbur, "never hurry, never worry" as he fretted over whether Mr. Zuckerman would kill him or not. Charlotte has a plan.

A connection to faith?? I think so. God's plan, His Will - never hurry, never worry.

"For I know the plans I have for you. Plans not to harm you but give you a hope and a future." Loosely translating Jeremiah 29:11

Little Lydia now 5

My little girl is 5 today - well in just a couple of hours. All of my children were born in the middle of the night 1:37am, 3:03am, and 4:01am. We don't know any other way. It's always strange to us when couples go to the hospital during daylight hours and have a baby the same day. But what memories of the evening we went to the hospital with all three of them. With Lydia, we were sitting at Bible study on a Tuesday night and I was watching the clock and counting possible contractions. Just to be safe, we sent Elijah to our friends' house (his first sleepover) and we went to the hospital prepared to come home. But - We stayed, and waited and watched the contractions on the printout (my husband's favorite job), chatted with friends who came to support us, and we watched the Astros lose a game. And then finally it was time -- not a lot of labor, but enough to wonder why I was doing it again. When the doctor told me it was a girl - I was shocked. I didn't think God would give me a girl. I thought I was more of a boys' mom. Little did I know, another girl would soon come after, but at that very special moment, and coming off a botched epidural, I cried my joy out loud. God had entrusted me, me, with this tiny, little girl. Amazing.

Losing the battle - but just for now

I have been in the thick of, well if you call updating my resume and filling out 4 applications at different school districts in the Houston area, in the thick of it - well I am searching for a part time library position. I have been emailing old professors, mentors, and have even emailed people I don't know that I've met through the Texas Library Listserv. I still have a class this summer - Research Design - and then, truly, I'm done. I'm tired of school. It's been 5 long years -- would have been 4 -- but I added 4 extra classes on, and I'm ready to be done. I would like to find a position, part-time for the school year since I'll be home with Lanie 3 days, but ready to work the other two. It's not looking good. Here's the email I got back from a mentor ----
Hi Jennifer, Right now, I am sure you have found this out, jobs in a school district are at a premium. There isn’t much part-time at all. We had one part time library position but it was cut. I will keep my eyes and ears open for something. I am sorry.

I am disheartened that something I love - that libraries - are losing the battle. It's not just about books - it's about teaching kids how to be life-long learners, how to be savvy researchers, how to use current web tools, and so much more. And yes, it's still about reading and loving how a character, a setting, a plot, a word - can move you. It's still about that.